Fear

This wasn’t going to be my first post. In fact, it wasn’t even on my agenda at all. It was only when I asked myself why, even when there were people interested in what I had to say, hadn’t I sent out my first newsletter? I was scared. Scared of getting it wrong. Scared of what people would think of it, of my ideas and ultimately of me.

Stressed, overwhelmed, stuck, worried, scared. They are all fear. It comes from the Amygdala, the lizard brain. It is the oldest part of the brain. A small golf ball-sized mass at the top of our brain stem. It’s job is to help keep us safe. This was great when we first evolved, when the prospect of death was a daily occurrence. A surge of adrenaline, fight or flight, was incredibly useful when facing a sabre-toothed tiger, bear or snake. Unfortunately, this part of our brain is still stuck 2,000 years BC. Rarely do we need such responses. Even more unfortunate, the Amygdala cannot discern between a sabre-toothed tiger and a PowerPoint presentation. It will kick in in an attempt to keep us, our sense of self, safe.

Fear no longer keeps us safe, it keeps us comfortable. It will do everything it can to keep things as they are. This prevents growth and encourages stagnantion. Anything worthwhile is done in spite of fear not because of it.

We convince ourselves that if we keep on preparing, planning, journaling, meditating then, when we are truly ready, the fear will somehow disappear and we will move forward and get the creative work done. It doesn’t work like that. All of the other activities that we tell ourselves are part of the preparation are merely distractions. Preventing us from doing the work that we really needs to be done.

Steven Pressfield calls this ‘Resistance’ and explains it eloquently in his book ‘The War of Art’. All these actvitiies, the feelig in our stomachs, even the quiet voice at the back of our heads. They prevent us from doing our real work. They prevented me from writing this post. They resist.

Unfortunately, no matter how preparded you are you will never feel ready to do the work. You just need to do it. You will never feel ready. That is Resistance. You just have to move forward. Do the work. The fear will never go away. Pressfield describes using fear as a compass. It will oppose directly the most important thing you need to do. The more important or impactful the work, the greater the resistance. The closer you get to completing the work, to sharing it with the world, the greater the Resistance. That is how I feel typing this and I’m sure it will only intensify just before i press ‘send’.

But we must realise that when we have that feeling in our stomachs. The butterflies, the queasiness, the Resistance. That means we are about to do something worthwhile. It isn’t a signal to stop, it’s a signal to move forward, to accelerate. Jocko Willink, the former Navy Seal Commander describes it as ‘Violence of Action’.

After we have done it once we tell ourselves it shoudl get easier, but it doesn’t/ We need to push every day. We still have to fight the Resitance through every worthwhile endeavour. But better than that, we need to follow Seth Godin’s advice and dance with the fear as it will never go away.

Two things that have helped me greatly have come from stoic philosophy and were shared by the author Tim Ferriss.

Define Your Fear

When fear is an abstract concept it’s easier to let it affect us. To let it become this huge intangible that freezes us. But if we can define our fear in as much detail as possible we come to realise that it is often ridiculous and absurd. Try this exercise.

Take a sheet of paper and split it into three columns. Use the following as headings for each column:

Define – Define your fear in as vivid detail as possible. What is the worst case scenario if you do the thing that you are putting off. Give it a scale of 1-10.

Minimize – What could you do to minimize the impact of column 1 or to reduce the likelihood of this happening?

Repair – What could you do to repair the damage of column 1? What would you have to do to get back to where you are now?

On a second page write down all the positive outcomes of doing the work. Rate them from 1-10.

Look at your answers and scores. The possible downsides are often temporary and unlikely, with a low rating and the more likely positive outcomes are a much higher rating.

Then ask yourself the following questions taken from Tim Ferris’ fantastic blog:

1. What is it costing you—financially, emotionally, and physically—to postpone action? Don’t only evaluate the potential downside of action. It is equally important to measure the atrocious cost of inaction. If you don’t pursue those things that excite you, where will you be in one year, five years, and ten years? How will you feel having allowed circumstance to impose itself upon you and having allowed ten more years of your finite life to pass doing what you know will not fulfill you? If you telescope out 10 years and know with 100% certainty that it is a path of disappointment and regret, and if we define risk as “the likelihood of an irreversible negative outcome,” inaction is the greatest risk of all.

2. What are you waiting for? If you cannot answer this without resorting to the previously rejected concept of good timing, the answer is simple: You’re afraid, just like the rest of the world. Measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps, and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.

Practising Poverty

This exercise was first described by the stoic philosopher Seneca. He explained it as,

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: ‘Is this the condition that I feared?’

Often, when making big decisions we worry that we’re going to lose money an d be unable to afford food, clothing and all of the trappings associated with a comfortable lifestyle.

So try this exercise. For three days wear the same cheap clothing, eat simple cheap meals or even fast. Drive less, don’t watch television and avoid using technology or use public WiFi. While doing this constantly ask yourself, “Is this what I am so afraid of?” You’ll find it’s n it as big a deal as the resistance would have you believe.

By practising your biggest fear you begin to inoculate yourself against it, you remove its power. You can move forward with your big ideas, projects and dreams.

I hope these ideas help. Let me know what you think and share any ideas or feedback on our ides4time Facebook page (using public wifi if you’re practising poverty)

All the best, Steve.